


Refuge

by Stingray



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst, Emotionally Repressed, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Massages, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 19:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6580195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stingray/pseuds/Stingray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's breaking down. The nightmares are becoming too much for Matt. He's been dealing with everything on his own for too long and he realizes that. <br/>Then, Matt gets thrown a rope, one he can use to climb out of the pit of darkness he's in. And the best part? Kelly's on the other end, pulling him up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Refuge

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to all the faithful followers of this ship, you know who you are. :) 
> 
> Also, if you haven't already, feel free to check out my new Chicago PD fic. 
> 
> Love you all and thanks for reading! xx

Sleep. The word itself, let alone it's meaning seemed to be a foreign concept to Matt these days. There was a time when he had been well rested and content, but it hadn't been that way for a few weeks. Truth was, most nights he didn't even bother getting in bed. He knew every night would be the same, the repetitive nightmare would claim his mind night after night. The unimaginable vividness of the images in his head would have him thrashing, his sheets shoved to the floor.

He had just decided to avoid sleep, it was the only thing he could really do. Whenever he closed his eyes, shadows of the dream would threaten his thoughts, terrifying him and making him wonder if he was going insane. 

There were times, however, that he'd get so completely exhausted from the lack of sleep, that he'd just pass out for a few hours. And those were the best few hours of peace that he'd get until he passed out again.   
It had turned into a kind of system which worked, albeit not as well as his regular sleeping routine that he had had before all this shit started happening.

It didn't take Kelly long to notice a change, he noticed a lot of things when it came to Matt, especially during these past few months.

It seemed odd to him that each day Matt's movements seemed to be growing a tad slower and the beautiful blue eyes that he often got lost in, got a bit darker. It wasn't in Kelly to just ignore the fact that his best friend obviously had some problems. He wouldn't just stand by as he watched Matt struggle with whatever he had going on, but neither did he know how to approach the situation. How do you ask someone like Matt what's wrong? 

It turned out that the answer to that was a couple of beers in the system, something to loosen him up. The nice thing about being roommates is that it's easy just to sit on the couch, watch the game, and drink beer. It's not weird, and there's no sense of tension; it's a comfortable and relaxing environment. 

"Matt?" Kelly started, still not sure where he wanted to direct the conversation but figuring he had to start it sooner or later. This wasn't exactly his forte, talking about problems or bringing up things that weren't necessarily the easiest to talk about.

"Yeah?" Matt answered wearily, his gaze fixed on the mess of football players that the sports channel was showcasing, the same replay repeating too many times in varying speeds of slow motion. 

Kelly scratched his head, "What's going on?" 

Matt's face expressed confusion as he turned toward Kelly, "What do you mean?" 

"I don't know ... You've just been off lately."

Matt nodded. As much as he wanted to keep the whole thing a secret, he knew he couldn't, not for much longer. The loud screaming in his head was bound to come out sooner or later, he wanted - no, he needed to get it off his chest. But he couldn't. He couldn't bear the thought of weighing down anyone with his issues, that just wasn't him.   
He's thought about a shrink, just for a split second, but if he went to a therapist that would be the moment he was admitting to himself and the world that he had a problem. It would mean he was a problem and he couldn't even fix himself.

He could handle it himself, he always found a way. But something about the soft look in Kelly's eyes drew out the heaviness in Matt's blood, his muscles, his bones, his entire being. Something about the willingness and whatever form of caring Kelly was emitting was making Matt dizzy with hope.

"I—" Matt began, stopping when he realized he didn't really know what to say. Kelly was patient as he casually kept his keen gaze trained on the other firefighter, waiting for his words to fill the air.

"Haven't been sleeping much." Matt finally said, his demeanour slightly downcast as a shrug made its way through his shoulders.

Kelly knew he wasn't lying, now that he knew that sleep deprivation was in the mix, it helped a lot of things make sense.   
He still wanted to know, however, why he wasn't sleeping, there had to be a reason. Kelly was a little afraid to ask though, not sure how much he would be shaking the boat by doing so. 

"Let me help you." Kelly offered, knowing the chance that Matt would let his defences down long enough to accept help were slim, but he wanted to make sure Matt knew he was there and willing.

And then, my some miracle, Matt's said, "Okay."

***

Matt explained to Kelly the nightmares he had been having for the past while, even cried about it a bit. It felt good to get it out, Matt would admit to that much, but he didn't have high hopes this would change anything. The constant inkling of the dark depth his mind seemed to sink into on a daily basis was enough to remind him of that. But nonetheless, he seemed to feel a bit lighter.

At some point during their chat, the two of them somehow both ended up drifting towards each other. They sat shoulder to shoulder by the time the talking had died down, and Kelly couldn't help but notice how rigid Matt's muscles were against his own, almost as if he was bracing for something. According to his dreams, that would be making sense, but if it was bad enough that Matt was confusing real life with his dream hell, there was a big problem. 

Kelly suddenly had an idea. "Lean forward," He asked, giving Matt a gentle push against his upper back, positioning him so he was doubled over slightly.   
"You're tense." Kelly continued, as his hands began to run across Matt's shoulders, gradually working the tight muscles to relieve all the painfully persistent knots, and stressed flesh. He massaged slowly and deeply, thoroughly twisting Matt into nothing more than a piece of pliable rubber.

Matt groaned in pleasure a few times during the whole ordeal, his eyes fluttering shut as Kelly's magic hands kept massaging. Kelly continued for a while; he didn't have it in him to stop. Lately he found himself finding any excuse he could to get his hands on Matt, in the least creepy way possible, of course. It was like he had this sense of need when it came to that blonde haired man he had admittedly hardcore fallen for.

At some point Kelly finally let go, figuring that was enough for one night, and as soon as he did he had a surprisingly cuddly man all wrapped up in his arms. He'd never forget that particular feeling, it was intensely perfect and everything he ever thought having Matt in his arms would be. 

They were soon both sleeping soundly on the couch, their bodies tangled, Matt's form resting lightly on top of Kelly's, his head laying on Kelly's chest as the beat of his heart soothed him into a deeper sleep.

***

As he woke up and the peaceful sleepiness left his system, Matt thought he was still dreaming. I mean, who wouldn't be thinking that if they woke up in the arms of Kelly Severide? 

Matt stretched out his tired but relaxed muscles and subconsciously snuggled a little closer to the man next to him. They were still laying on the couch. Kelly, who's back was against the back of the couch, had his arms wrapped tightly around Matt who had buried his face into Kelly's chest.   
Kelly had been awake for a while, but he hadn't made any movement. He knew how badly Matt had needed this extra bit of sleep, plus, he couldn't help but relish and take joy in the feel of having such a handsome man in his arms.

A flood of happiness pumped through Matt's blood as the perfectly tempered heat of Kelly's body was present against his own. He took a deep breath, inhaling the comfortingly familiar smell and warmth that was Kelly.  
A contented sigh left Matt as he cracked his eyes open, and for the first time in a long time, it didn't feel like the world was out to get him.


End file.
